Fear of Disappointment

I have a fear of disappointment. I'm not worried about being disappointed; its more that I am worried about disappointing others. It seems like every assignment I turn in isn't good enough no matter what grade I receive. I am constantly thinking over how to handle situations so that I won't upset anyone or change their opinion of me. I think this bothers me because I view disappointment as a form of failure on my part.

I didn't obtain this fear from any situations with family members. My parents and sisters have always been super supportive of me and are always sure to tell me how proud they are. I have this fear because of standards I set up for myself. I have to do everything perfect or its not good enough and I view myself as a disappointment. I also end up for apologising for a lot of things that are either out of my control or not a big deal. If I could stop worrying about disappointing people -- friends, teachers, myself -- I would probably be a much more relaxed person.

Writing is a Dance

Learning how to write is very similar to learning how to dance. One common dream held by 3-year-old little girls is the dream of becoming a Prima Ballerina. They rush to the store to buy their first pair of ballet slippers and a brand new fluffy tutu. When they arrive in class for the first time they start small: pointing their foot and turning in place, but soon they will be doing grandiose leaps and turns across the floor. As little girls they learn basic terms such as “point” and “turn.” Later, they will learn that the real terms are “tendu” and “pirouette.” With enough time and practice, the will move up from the Ballet Corp to Prima Ballerina.

Writing isn’t very much different from learning to dance. We show up at school with our new notebooks and pencils all ready to learn. We start out small – learning that a subject and a verb make a sentence. Then we are ready to form paragraphs and maybe even put those together into an essay. As we advance in our learning experience we memorize an advanced vocabulary that we will almost never use because the average human doesn’t understand them. While some of us will be satisfied with our basic ability to write, others of us will move on to write novels and become the next big writer…or Prima Ballerina.